As we approach Thanksgiving, I would like to share this video fromNorah Jones which I'm just now seeing. Too late for Veteran's Day and yet something I am always thankful for....Semper Fi!
TEN TIPS TO BE A BEST FRIEND FOREVER
By Irene Levine
What does it take to be a best friend forever (BFF)? Whether you are 6 or 66 years old, the same rules apply for forming and keeping lasting, meaningful friendships. The following top 10 tips to be a BFF were gleaned from insights culled from more than 16,000 essays submitted in the No nonsense® Between Friends Contest. For more information, visit www.nononsense.com.
The Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth. Whether your friend has spinach in her teeth or a cheating boyfriend, an authentic best friend doesn’t take the easy way out. A real best friend dishes out the unvarnished truth, recognizing that when it comes to best friends, tact is less important than honesty. But, be prepared to receive it, too.
Give What You Take. We’ve all heard the tales of one-sided friendships. It’s not fair for one friend to bear the burden of perpetually orchestrating plans. And never keep a friend waiting. Best friends recognize they are equals in their responsibilities and need for respect. Strive for an equally balanced, give and take friendship.
Keeping Secrets. If you harbor big secrets, such as financial worries, a health scare or a marriage crisis, it’s important to share your worries with your best friend. Don’t expect to be a BFF for long if you choose to hide life-changing events from those who want to be there for you.
Accept Your Friend for Who She is, Not Who You Want Her to Be. Embrace a best friend for the gift of who she is. Don’t expect a BFF who loves modern furniture to leap at the chance to join an antique hunting expedition. Understand it’s okay to be different than your best friend and cherish the unique aspects she brings to the friendship.
Be There. Being a great best friend is knowing when it’s best just to listen. Often the mark of a good friend is one who is silently present.
Bask In Her Success. There’s no room for competitive jealousy with friends. Show her you are sincerely happy for accomplishments and even celebrate her good luck.
Show Up. Respond to invitations, calls, emails and texts. Be there for the small moments and the big events. Involvement in the day-to-day minutiae of each other’s lives keeps friendships on track. Attend to the friendship and make it flourish.
Quote Scarlett. Friendships, like marriage, have natural cycles of ups and downs and a best friend is mindful that tomorrow is another day.
Say “Thank You.” Don’t take the friendship for granted. Take time to say thanks, send cards and give hugs.
Fish or Cut Bait. A true friend is there for you when you need her and has your best interests at heart. Be honest and know when it’s time to cut a toxic friendship loose. Lend your best friend skills to someone else deserving.
So I’ve been thinking a lot about life lately, specifically my relationships with those around me.
I consider myself an extrovert who enjoys being social and interacting with others, but lately I’ve been examining the depth of my relationship with others.
How much do I love others?
It’s easy to say I love others, but deep down, if I’m honest with myself, do I really?
I’ve tried to be more aware of my conversations with people. I’ve listened more – talked less. I’m trying to soak in what’s going on around me and I’ve discovered that this is hard to do while talking.
I think I’m like most people in that when I’m in a conversation with others, I’m often too busy thinking about what I’m going to say that I’m not really listening to what they’re saying.
I guess my question is: If I don’t hear what they say, and only want to get out my stories and ideas, do I really care about them?
I’ve also found that when I listen to others, I mean, really listen to them, it’s difficult. Maybe it’s because most of what is discussed among people these days seems to be surface crap information. You know, the kinds of things you read on someone’s Facebook status or Tweets. This seems to have bled into real life conversations.
Humans have always tried to gloss over the deeper parts of themselves, because this part includes the scared, worried, ashamed, and anxious aspects of life.
But glossing over something or pretending it’s not there doesn’t make it go away.
The social mediums in the world today have allowed for more connections with others, but have they allowed deeper connections? Have they allowed you to be real?
Honestly though, social exchanges have always hovered around the surface. For years this has been a common exchange – “Hey, how’s it going?” To which you’d respond, “Fine, you?” If you’re honest, is it really fine? And the times when you do stop and share something more deeply, often the other person is looking for an exit because they really didn’t want to know.
Which leads me back to the question: Do they really care? Do you? Do I?
The deeper connections require more from me. It requires that I slow down and share my life with others. That I shoulder some of their weight and burden with them. But it also offers the possibility that they’ll shoulder some of mine.
Real relationships move past the “niceities”. They get below the surface and enter the area of our lives that house fears, frustrations, failures, but also strengths. You see, I believe it’s this part of our lives, the authentic part of us, where healing resides. This healing actually begins when I share this part of my life with another person.
If I were to slow down my life and listen, I must come face to face with this part of myself. There are times when I feel isolated and alone. When I’m insecure about what I’m doing or who I am. And these times also bring me to how I began this post – how much do I love others?
I’m wading deeper into this struggle – care to join me?
Summary of Life
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food...
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. You've got that
right.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge..mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. ... having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not piddling in your pants.
Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;
BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
Have a wonderful day with many smiles
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